Friend or Foe? – When to End Relationships like Cutting Losing Positions

By: Heero Yuy

Life is an investment of an ever scarce resource called time. To live life to the fullest, one must understand what activities and people to invest in and which ones to avoid. In investments, people often make the mistake of spending good money to chase bad money by dumping more liquidity into losers hoping for a rebound. In life, people make the identical mistake of dumping good time into bad activities and people.

To simplify, good activities and people are ones that positively and critically support you to attain your goals in life and provide a genuine source of happiness. Bad activities and people are the polar opposite of those aforementioned items. Your life has a net positive and bullish when you start to acquire more activities and people that are good and net negative and bearish when you acquire more bad activities and people. This is simply effective management of your portfolio of activities and people that you’ve acquired by investing your asset called time.

Thought Experiment:

Think of all the activities and friends in your life. First, let’s examine activities.

What activities do you do now that you can do without in your daily routine and won’t miss it at all a week, month, or year from now? Bundle all this up and we’ll call these useless activities because they are so lukewarm or cold that it doesn’t stir up your burning desire and passion for life.

Useless Activities can include:

  • Social Media
  • Mainstream News (fake and manufactured anyways, right?)
  • Messaging
  • Video Games
  • Watching the Paint Dry (you know what this means)
  • Vices (Various internet related or real life addictions. Substance abuse, etc. Use your imagination)

Drop all of the above if possible, the more the merrier. It’s all useless! Next, let’s examine your “friends.”

Scenario #1:

Your car breaks down in the middle of the night (2AM) on the interstate. You have every single known contact that you’ve ran across in your life at your disposal for phone calls.

  1. Who will actually answer?
  2. Who will actually come to your rescue?
  3. Who will actually consistently rescue you from this and future incidents without fuss?
  4. Who will you repicprocate this favor for from #3 above?

Scenario #2:

You and all your friends go on a hike and run into a Grizzly Bear or a Pack of Wolves. Someone or a group of people have to stay behind and fend off the animal(s) while the others escape or else everyone dies.

  1. Will you stay?
  2. If so, who else will join you?
  3. If not, who will be brave enough to sacrifice their lives for you and the group?
  4. If they step up, will you join them to tough it out with them to the very end?

The “friends” that made it through both Scenarios #1 AND #2 are your true friends. Rest of them are garbage, put them where they belong as they are not important in your life nor are you in theirs.

Analysis of Experiment:

At this point you can say, “Well, that was extremely harsh and brutal! You can’t be saying things like that about my ‘friends’!!!” To which I will respond with, “I just did.”

You know from doing the exercises above who are your friends vs. “friends.” The latter category is known as acquaintances.

Definition:

Acquaintances is defined as “a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.” or  “An acquaintance is someone recognized by sight or someone known, though not intimately: a casual acquaintance.”

Ahhhhh! So now you realize that you have a ton of acquaintances and very scare number of friends.

Methods:

Don’t bother fading those who are negative and bearish, they will fail in due time and from their own devices, fall to zero, and get delisted from the exchanges (drop off the social circles). Only a couple of these folks who hit rock bottom will have a slither of hope of rebounding and the only ones that do exhibit positive qualities of attentiveness and adhering to sound advice.

Only invest your time smartly in people who exhibit the above positive qualities and also add value to your life by giving you objective support, guidance, and encouragement. Those people who can do this are usually from the small circle of friends that you’ve identified from above. Look for these great qualities in making new friends in the future! Now you are shifting to the right direction to be net positive and bullish. People who see and know you will want to invest their time in you to help you out. Now you are exuding success and successful people can identify and spot others like themselves. Very good!

Do your best to avoid spending too much time with everyone else who do not qualify as a friend. There are enough people in the world to be a friend to someone and if that person isn’t you for some reason someone else can fill that spot. Find net positive and bullish individuals and stick to them like superglue! Friends can be your peers, teachers, coaches, or mentors. This strong group of individuals will help you grow in life and make you ever more bullish for your outlook on life. These individuals can be both living and dead. Read a book or watch a video, learn from those who’ve passed long ago! Our collective human knowledge is what makes us humans immensely more powerful than other animals in the Animal Kingdom; use it!

Your one and only goal here is to (acronym: GDDC):

  • Grow the pool of Friends
  • Demote people to acquaintance when necessary
  • Drop negative or toxic people from friends and acquaintances immediately
  • Cut excessive acquaintances to focus on acquisition of new friends

Trying to lump everyone into a large pool by calling everyone your friend will only waste their time and more importantly yours! Cut’em! No need to shed tears, they left you stranded on the interstate anyways so why should you care?

Conclusion:

Life is too short to mess around with individuals that add no value to your life or actively work to bring you down because they are toxic cesspools. Identify who your friends are immediately, stick to them and make new ones like them, and drop everyone else. The cardinal sin of investing is doubling down on negative and losing positions in hopes of a rebound. Learn to cut your losses early and invest in positions that will yield net positive results and ones with a bullish outlook!

Valuing Yourself – You vs. the World [Part 1]

By: Heero Yuy

bateman-relaxing

In this Four Part post I will explore how valuation is done on the individual and the difference between extrinsic, intrinsic, and universal perception of our worth in this world.

A Scene from American Psycho:

Evelyn Williams: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
Patrick Bateman: [Bateman narrating] I’m trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn Williams: Annie Leibovitz. We’ll get Annie Leibovitz. And we’ll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Patrick Bateman: Do what?
Evelyn Williams: Get married. Have a wedding.
Patrick Bateman: No, I can’t take the time off work.
Evelyn Williams: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Patrick Bateman: I don’t want to talk about it.
Evelyn Williams: You hate that job anyway. I don’t see why you just don’t quit.
Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in.”

Unfortunately, we will not discuss the movie American Psycho in full today as it is a topic for another day. However, we will explore the subject of conformity in today’s society and how we or society assigns us a value. For some, the valuation done by society is taken at face value equates to the value assigned by the individual to themselves. A few individuals disagrees with the way in which society values them and their talents and calculates their values differently. Both topics will be covered and differences expounded upon.

Part 1 – How Society and the World Values Us:

This video from The School of Life YouTube Channel best explains how society and our families (esp. Asian households) values most of us (9min video):

When asked about wealth the first thing that comes to mind is money for most people. They want to believe that the 1’s and 0’s stored in the database of various accounts accurately present your networth to this world. The universe cares not what your bank account statement says or most man-made metrics. What’s the worth of one small planet in a universe this vast? How much power can one man have on a one little rock if the entire rock is not even a speck of sand in the river of time?

Society values people and their net economic output and appropriately compensates them for their worth so that they can extract value from us in order to commoditize, market, distribute, and sell it to others for a profit.

The value assigned to you by your friends and families can also vary depending on how you were nurtured and which company of friends you keep. It can be either extremely motivating or powerfully destructive and this ultimately determines our outcome as a human being. We shall explore these ideas in depth in the following posts [Click for Part 2!].