By: Heero Yuy
Georgia Tech is like Trench Warfare. If the enemy doesn’t kill you the trench foot, mustard or chlorine gas will. It’s a lose-lose scenario for mere mortals (sane rational human beings) who get sacrificed as cannon fodder for the elite (conformists/tools) few that skew the bell-curve at each Mid-Term and Final. I thoroughly hated it there and resolved to detox elsewhere for my Graduate studies. The only thing that keeps you going in the classic case of Trench Warfare are good friends. Jims was one of those good friends that kept my spirits up during those rather hopeless and lost years. The saying goes: “Misery loves company.” 99% of Georgia Tech students are miserable and they all love to rag on how the school, facilities, and professors all suck.
Jims and I often find ourselves hating on Georgia Tech pretty hard. This was one of our favorite pass times between pontificating life and how utterly useless that shit is as well. We knew we were on the assembly line groomed for what will be 20-30 years more of relentless old and new ways to sell our souls to Corporate America. Yes, indeed, we hated life but we hated Georgia Tech even more than life itself! F**K Georgia Tech!
1. Normal people greet each other with some variation of the following dialog:
Person#1: “Hey, how are you doing?”
Person#2: “I’m good, thanks. You?”
Person #1: “I’m doing well, thanks for asking!”
Music continues along with the facade that life is just peachy. You see, these two people obviously did NOT go to Georgia Tech.
2. This is how two Yellow Jackets (current) greet each other:
YJacket#1: “Hey dude, you did an all nighter again?” (Yeah I said dude, that ratio is probably still shit. There aren’t any girls there, keep moving, skip go, don’t collect $200, and try again for wife-material at GSU, UGA, or Emory)
YJacket#2: “Of course man, you were in that [First Person Shooter or RTS] game all night with me and cramming for [XYZ whatever bullshit class you are going to get a ‘C’ in anyways due to some God forsaken Four Horsemen pyramid scheme]!”
YJacket#1: “Oh yeah… I must have forgot. Let’s pound some [ABC Energy Drink] and go fail that test together!”
Memory lapses are a regular occurrence after all nighters. Don’t worry, all will be well after you barfed out the information/solutions necessary to ‘pass’ that mid-term/final. Bro fist or High Five concludes this conversation.
3. This is how two Yellow Jackets (ghost of Xmas past) greet each other:
*The usual horrendous fake social pleasantries like anyone actually gives a damn*
OldJacket#1: “… so, aren’t you glad you aren’t at Georgia Tech anymore?”
OldJacket#2: *Blood boils, face turns into a volcano* “Georgia… Georgia what??? F&#*K THAT PLACE, I am so glad I am not in that [Mental Institution, Prison, Shady Shack, Saw# Movie, etc]”
OldJacket#1: “Spoken like a true Yellow Jacket!“
Yeah, f**k that place.
Jims and I play #3 quite often and we truly invent new deeper layers of Hell each time we get into the flow of hate. During our recent hate session on that forsaken place, we started to talk about how Georgia Tech is rigged just like the real Game of Life. Then it clicked… Georgia Tech IS the Game of Life!
Jims applauded me with my following assessment on how the Game is played at Georgia Tech:
“just like goddamn Gatech with fraternities that horde all the loot (old Exams, Quizzes, and HWs)
if you don’t start in those clans, you are severely behind.”
This is about the only real thing I learned at my over-priced, under-valued, under-appreciated piece of paper that collects dust somewhere in an obscure filing cabinet.
I wall-hacked back in the classic teenage days where everyone played Counter-Strike and happen to also cheat in Team Fortress Classic (Half-Life 2 Mod – see above video). After my remark to Jims above, I followed it up with:
“The only way to win in a rigged game is to cheat. That’s why I used wall hack back in the day.
Loved that Team Fortress sniper shit… LOL, spy vs spy? Nal man, hacker vs hacker! LOLOLOL
me: Hey man, you are wallhacking!
cheater#2: Dude, so are you!!!”
Jims got a good laugh out of that one and I continued by saying:
“Takes a cheater to spot another cheater! LMAO!
but much is the same in the game of life… The ones who actually got up to the top, the Generational wealth, are all part of families or clans that cheated, horded resources, and didn’t give any of it back to the system.
when you [are] Rocky Balboa and make it to the top eventually, you can either:
1) Join them and start your own old money
2) Put all chips back on table (Gates + Buffett)
either way, as you are making it, pure grind or cheat codes used, you will start to see that these mfuckers were born with all the loot, cheat codes, and epic gear that no one else can feasibly get [even after] grinding a thousand life times!”
Sometimes being miserable, hateful, and cynic f from m*****r f*#king Georgia Tech has its perks. You get that sick clarity on life that others, who choose to stay in that masquerade, lack.
All Hail Peter Gregory’s TED Talk (from HBO’s Silicon Valley)!