Friend or Foe? – When to End Relationships like Cutting Losing Positions

By: Heero Yuy

Life is an investment of an ever scarce resource called time. To live life to the fullest, one must understand what activities and people to invest in and which ones to avoid. In investments, people often make the mistake of spending good money to chase bad money by dumping more liquidity into losers hoping for a rebound. In life, people make the identical mistake of dumping good time into bad activities and people.

To simplify, good activities and people are ones that positively and critically support you to attain your goals in life and provide a genuine source of happiness. Bad activities and people are the polar opposite of those aforementioned items. Your life has a net positive and bullish when you start to acquire more activities and people that are good and net negative and bearish when you acquire more bad activities and people. This is simply effective management of your portfolio of activities and people that you’ve acquired by investing your asset called time.

Thought Experiment:

Think of all the activities and friends in your life. First, let’s examine activities.

What activities do you do now that you can do without in your daily routine and won’t miss it at all a week, month, or year from now? Bundle all this up and we’ll call these useless activities because they are so lukewarm or cold that it doesn’t stir up your burning desire and passion for life.

Useless Activities can include:

  • Social Media
  • Mainstream News (fake and manufactured anyways, right?)
  • Messaging
  • Video Games
  • Watching the Paint Dry (you know what this means)
  • Vices (Various internet related or real life addictions. Substance abuse, etc. Use your imagination)

Drop all of the above if possible, the more the merrier. It’s all useless! Next, let’s examine your “friends.”

Scenario #1:

Your car breaks down in the middle of the night (2AM) on the interstate. You have every single known contact that you’ve ran across in your life at your disposal for phone calls.

  1. Who will actually answer?
  2. Who will actually come to your rescue?
  3. Who will actually consistently rescue you from this and future incidents without fuss?
  4. Who will you repicprocate this favor for from #3 above?

Scenario #2:

You and all your friends go on a hike and run into a Grizzly Bear or a Pack of Wolves. Someone or a group of people have to stay behind and fend off the animal(s) while the others escape or else everyone dies.

  1. Will you stay?
  2. If so, who else will join you?
  3. If not, who will be brave enough to sacrifice their lives for you and the group?
  4. If they step up, will you join them to tough it out with them to the very end?

The “friends” that made it through both Scenarios #1 AND #2 are your true friends. Rest of them are garbage, put them where they belong as they are not important in your life nor are you in theirs.

Analysis of Experiment:

At this point you can say, “Well, that was extremely harsh and brutal! You can’t be saying things like that about my ‘friends’!!!” To which I will respond with, “I just did.”

You know from doing the exercises above who are your friends vs. “friends.” The latter category is known as acquaintances.

Definition:

Acquaintances is defined as “a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.” or  “An acquaintance is someone recognized by sight or someone known, though not intimately: a casual acquaintance.”

Ahhhhh! So now you realize that you have a ton of acquaintances and very scare number of friends.

Methods:

Don’t bother fading those who are negative and bearish, they will fail in due time and from their own devices, fall to zero, and get delisted from the exchanges (drop off the social circles). Only a couple of these folks who hit rock bottom will have a slither of hope of rebounding and the only ones that do exhibit positive qualities of attentiveness and adhering to sound advice.

Only invest your time smartly in people who exhibit the above positive qualities and also add value to your life by giving you objective support, guidance, and encouragement. Those people who can do this are usually from the small circle of friends that you’ve identified from above. Look for these great qualities in making new friends in the future! Now you are shifting to the right direction to be net positive and bullish. People who see and know you will want to invest their time in you to help you out. Now you are exuding success and successful people can identify and spot others like themselves. Very good!

Do your best to avoid spending too much time with everyone else who do not qualify as a friend. There are enough people in the world to be a friend to someone and if that person isn’t you for some reason someone else can fill that spot. Find net positive and bullish individuals and stick to them like superglue! Friends can be your peers, teachers, coaches, or mentors. This strong group of individuals will help you grow in life and make you ever more bullish for your outlook on life. These individuals can be both living and dead. Read a book or watch a video, learn from those who’ve passed long ago! Our collective human knowledge is what makes us humans immensely more powerful than other animals in the Animal Kingdom; use it!

Your one and only goal here is to (acronym: GDDC):

  • Grow the pool of Friends
  • Demote people to acquaintance when necessary
  • Drop negative or toxic people from friends and acquaintances immediately
  • Cut excessive acquaintances to focus on acquisition of new friends

Trying to lump everyone into a large pool by calling everyone your friend will only waste their time and more importantly yours! Cut’em! No need to shed tears, they left you stranded on the interstate anyways so why should you care?

Conclusion:

Life is too short to mess around with individuals that add no value to your life or actively work to bring you down because they are toxic cesspools. Identify who your friends are immediately, stick to them and make new ones like them, and drop everyone else. The cardinal sin of investing is doubling down on negative and losing positions in hopes of a rebound. Learn to cut your losses early and invest in positions that will yield net positive results and ones with a bullish outlook!


13 thoughts on “Friend or Foe? – When to End Relationships like Cutting Losing Positions

  1. Yahh … I am less cut and dried about people and activities – perhaps it’s because I’m a woman or older or simply have a different outlook. I don’t see people as good or bad – just desirable or undesirable to have in My particular life. Once I’ve learned what I needed to from the experience (if unpleasant), even if I’ve somehow resolved my karma around them, I’m good with being done. If I see them later, I’ll simply smile, nod and move along. As for experiences, I think it depends on time and place. Addictions to social media, for example, might prove quite harmful. On the other hand, perhaps they inform a person of formerly hidden qualities and they discover, holy cow, I’m Obsessed with this damned stuff! Maybe I need to get a life. So in essence, I think all people and all experiences serve, if one’s eyes are open. And some serve TO open said eyes.

    Just my perspective. Cheerio! 🙂

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      1. Yes, I did scan through it. But as I said in my previous comment a minute ago, I’ve lived in the middle of nowhere most of my life and grew up in the quiet foothills of mountains. I’ve had no aspirations of climbing any corporate ladders or in any way putting work before life. I’ve always worked to live, not the reverse. So I didn’t feel qualified to comment on this post. I’m sure there will be many who can better relate to it 😉 Peace.

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      2. I think our Doctor lady person friend can be more qualified to comment. 🙂 Maybe she is trying to find here her mind went after it got BLOWN by these posts. 😀

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  2. 1. There are virtually no friends by your definitions. The people you described don’t really exist. It’s a fairy tale. You may get such treatment once or twice, but it is probably rooted in deep trust – basically a less liquid investment to use your own terminology (e.g. angel investing)
    2. People who are acquaintances should be delisted. They are possibly your future friends. Options that gain value with time. (Spray and pray).
    3. Besides a very basic view, the finance analogy is irrelevant here. Finance is more about not letting emotion overwhelm – or watching it overwhelm others as you refuse to flinch, whereas friendship is all about emotion, empathy and trust. Seeing people merely as a means to an end in your own personal development is a tad psychopathic.

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    1. Investing in all things in life relies on basic principles. Finance is just another language utilized in the telling.

      You must have shitty “friends” then. Time to stop hitting up the bars for new contacts or Tinder.

      If you know yourself you know which acquaintances are friend possible. If so, they’d be friends already wouldn’t they?

      You see relationships as emotional where I am more cold and calculated when it also comes to making friends. My friends are more along the lines of business partners and in that sense, yes, I am going to weigh my risks and probabilities in making decisions.

      Hope that clarifies things for you and for Christ’s sake, make some real friends! My edge is that I served in the Military so those types of people have a bond that you may never find in your life, sorry. 🙂

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      1. I find that labelling people is unhelpful. People are so unpredictable: there’s no point in labelling. It’s not me crying out for attention. There are people who I could but delist and there are those who I count on. You need heuristics to get through life. However, that’s all it is – assumptions and heuristics.

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      2. You mean to tell me Myers Briggs is a fallacy? Where’s my stash of Xanas and 9mm rounds…

        Assumptions and Heuristics sound awfully like racism and stereotyping (Thinking Fast) without the Analysis bit (Thinking Slow).

        Read Daniel Kahneman

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